As promised, here are more extracts from The Berghaus Chronicles...

09.06.05

Here is the definitive guide to how to react when a fit bloke returns from a long absence. Unexpectedly. (With a handy time scale thing)

Day 1 - Spot the car. Stay calm

Day 2 – Stakeout for visual ID. ID confirmation, get on bus. Get off bus at first opportunity to avoid suspicion

Day 3 - Go about business as usual. Chance visual during mid-afternoon. If lucky this will come back positive. ( I did and it did!)

Weekend Break ( Day 4 and 5 ) Return to reality

Day 6 - See car, get on bus. No waiting around. If you’re lucky, visual on the bus, but don’t push it. If lucky ( as I was ) then proceed with ‘off a stop later/earlier’ tactic to avoid suspicion

Day 7 - If, by chance, and so not on purpose, Fit Bloke happens to be getting on the same bus as you back to the car park, walk to the car, get in and go. Don’t hang around. If you end up giving him way to get out, so be it. If you find your self behind him on the A road home, overtake before his suspected exit. Go home. Smile

Day 8 - Visual on car but wait for the next bus. Do not seek visual today

Day 9 – Do not seek visual. Get on bus. Due to lack of visual on car, get on bus and proceed to usual seat and sit. Sleep if you need it. If, as you look up, the Fit Bloke has got on the bus and then sat down next to you, stay calm. Be cool. Do not stare!

In case it wasn’t already obvious, I have a lot of time on my hands.


11.06.05

To pass the time, and because I’m bored, here are my thoughts on the return of the Fit Bloke:

I am almost sure when he was around before, he had a bus pass card. Now he buys return tickets. Why not get a card? Is it because he’s not gonna be around long enough to make it worthwhile? Not even a weekly one? Hmmm. I have a funny feeling he may not be present on Monday.

13.06.05

My theory may have been right. Got on the buss at 8.30am today but alas, there was no Fit Bloke. He could have got a late bus today, or have a day off, or use a another car park this week due to a major event in town or his return may have only been for a week and a half. But I ask you, who comes back to work for a week and half??!!

16.06.05


This is day 4 of F.B.V.I.D absence. It’s bad that I abbreviated it. Isn’t it?


17.06.05

To start with ‘Day 5 of Mr Berghaus’s absence’ would make me sound obsessed and a little wired. So I’m not going to mention it. Yet.


20.06.05

Some other stuff is not working out so well, but no matter ‘cos it turns out I’m a genius!! No one come back for a week and half! They take a week off due to the major event, just like everyone else!! An then come back on Monday – like everyone else! And look as good as ever! Praise be to my addiction!!
(This madness has to stop. I’ve brought Latin for Beginners to combat the crazy)


21.06.05

Ego ne unum quidem verbum intellego

- I don’t understand a single word –

I’m learning! Now, how to say Fit Bloke was early today, but I still saw him….hmmmmm!

24.06.05

Regarding Berghaus? On the 8.20am odd (late for me). He got in and got on. I followed, like the sheep I am. Anyway, crazy Berghaus Obsessed (too strong?) me kind of disappeared and I was feeling almost normal and I went and sat at the back. In front of him. He had taken my seat. How inconsiderate!

27.06.05

Here’s something that will prove I’m not crazy. Obviously its re: Mr Berghaus.

I was late out today, and needed to get milk etc. As I drove past, I saw that at 8.17am I wasn’t the only one who was late.

No matter. I didn’t really want to be on the same bus today so I went and got milk and parked up. He still wasn’t there but it was around 8.32am so I had to go. Queued for the bus and went and sat at the back. Guess who gets on and while there where still empty seats at the back, sits at the very back with me? Yes, a Fit Bloke sporting some groovy shades. And here’s the thing. I was normal about it! No grinning, no inward yelping, no jumping around in my head – nothing. Just normal. Thing is, I should be all ‘can you believe it?!’ and analysing why he didn’t take one of the empty seats but I’m not. Even now, thinking about it, I’m like, big deal. There’s no thrill.

I am knackered and have a billion things eating at my tiny brain – maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s because I’m still asleep. Who knows?! What I do know is that proper obsessives don’t have ‘normal’ phases so that just makes me a bit weird and with too much time on my hands at times. Maybe when I have some energy I will get all giddy, but I don’t see it happening.

05.07.05

It’s piss pouring rain! But it’s alright ‘cos this morning made it so!

I was very late – at the car park around 8.45am. Lots of traffic on the way in. Anyway, I looked round – shocker, no Mr Berghaus – although on the way in, I thought I saw his head at the back of the bus that I’d just missed. Confusion! Where!? Why? Gone forever?

Then as I wandered up to the bus, I saw his car peeking out from behind a bush. I’m guessing someone had parked in his space when he’d got there. Otherwise, he may be on to me and may have decided to make it harder for me to stare… I don’t know, I’m distracted by the rain!
I’m glad to see that he hasn’t disappeared.

And here’s the thing that proves my sanity (!):
If I was a complete maniac with an obsession, there’s no way I would have been in traffic – weirdos are consistent!! I don’t plan my day around the chance to see Mr Berghaus….obsessives do. So I’m just a little odd – but that has been the case since well before I started using this particular bus service!