More on the Berghaus Chronicles
09.06.10
I waited for the next empty bus to roll up and when it did I went up and got on at the very back. I was happy to see the familiar car drive down the other side of the road but I thought he would get the next bus. I did see him walk up to the bus but didn't see him board or sit ( expert stalker dude that I am ) so imagine my utter amazement when he sat next to me!!!!!!! ( three seat at the back, empty seat between us).
I stayed cool, calm and did not laugh or do anything mad. It was very hard not to grin.
He smelled of 'just showered goodness' and my was it nice!
Clearly I couldn't stare at him so eyes front and centre. Of all the seats ( bus was not full ) in all the world....
And none of it was planned. He got off at the railway station and oh my did I laugh when I got into the shop. I hope I didn't smell.
I know all this is quite mad and possibly certifiable but I take my happiness where I get it, so piss off. After months of absence, there he is, sat on the bus, next to me!! Miracle I didn't ask where he'd been. That would have been certifiable. The morning never felt more wonderful and the day was a beautiful one.
Here's a thought: what if he sat where he did to screw with my head.
Tuesday 10 August 2010
The Berghaus Chronicles continued...
26.04.05
So, it has been three odd months since the last confirmed sighting of Mr Berghaus aka 'The Fit Bloke'. Theories abound about his sudden disappearance.
Some suggest that, since after Christmas he was looking smaller, thinner and almost gaunt, he may have succumbed to some terrible disease.
Others meanwhile, suggest a change of job or even a change of car, favoured parking space and different start times for work are to blame. Thrown into the mix is also the suggestion that he simply no longer uses the Park and Ride and chooses to go into town the other way now.
There has been no evidence to support any of these theories so the speculation continues.
Those in charge of the investigation into the disappearance of Mr Berghaus urge anyone with any information, no matter how unimportant it may seem, to come forward.
It is imperative that the fit bloke is found soon because Ronnie is getting bored!!!!!!!!!!!!
01.06.05
So, driving to the car park this morning - guess what I saw. A particular car with a particular license plate! Fit Bloke!! He has returned!!! Well, his car has - I didn't see him. Must have got the earlier bus. I was so happy, it was ridiculous! Imagine if I didn't see the car but saw him - I would have shouted 'Fit Bloke!' as I did in my car! How would I get out of that self-inflicted mess?!
I am going to be keeping an eye out for Mr Berghaus at lunch time and if it is only his car that I see today, that's fine - I'll come in early tomorrow.
Theories abound as to what happened in the last 6 months are, as ever abound. In addition to those mentioned in previous entries, there are more but it would be confirmation of the madness within to put them to paper. So I'm not going to.
Amazing how happy a number plate can make someone. Although he could have sold the car - but it was parked near the regular space ( stop this madness!!!!!!).
02.06.05
News just in:
' Visual confirmation - Positive ID On Fit Bloke'. At 8.20am odd this morning, our intrepid reporter - on a stakeout to confirm yesterday's report of the possible return of the fit bloke, established visual contact with said fit bloke.
World rejoice - he is alive, looking well and back! He got out of the car and made his way to the bus. It was a wonderful sight.
Lack of visual confirmation yesterday did worry the faithful but scenes of joy and celebration were to be seen inside our reporter's head.
Still no explanation re his absence over near on 6 months but such things are put to the side - it's like he was never away. Full bus prohibited the regular sit and stare and to avoid suspicion , our ever amazing reporter did as all detectives do in these situations - she got off the bus at an earlier stop. We will keep regular updates coming with news as soon as it reaches us.
To recap - Mr Berghaus aka The Fit Bloke has returned after a mysterious absence. He was seen this morning. This is not a drill, this is not a rumour or speculation. This is truth. He has returned.
End of broadcast.
26.04.05
So, it has been three odd months since the last confirmed sighting of Mr Berghaus aka 'The Fit Bloke'. Theories abound about his sudden disappearance.
Some suggest that, since after Christmas he was looking smaller, thinner and almost gaunt, he may have succumbed to some terrible disease.
Others meanwhile, suggest a change of job or even a change of car, favoured parking space and different start times for work are to blame. Thrown into the mix is also the suggestion that he simply no longer uses the Park and Ride and chooses to go into town the other way now.
There has been no evidence to support any of these theories so the speculation continues.
Those in charge of the investigation into the disappearance of Mr Berghaus urge anyone with any information, no matter how unimportant it may seem, to come forward.
It is imperative that the fit bloke is found soon because Ronnie is getting bored!!!!!!!!!!!!
01.06.05
So, driving to the car park this morning - guess what I saw. A particular car with a particular license plate! Fit Bloke!! He has returned!!! Well, his car has - I didn't see him. Must have got the earlier bus. I was so happy, it was ridiculous! Imagine if I didn't see the car but saw him - I would have shouted 'Fit Bloke!' as I did in my car! How would I get out of that self-inflicted mess?!
I am going to be keeping an eye out for Mr Berghaus at lunch time and if it is only his car that I see today, that's fine - I'll come in early tomorrow.
Theories abound as to what happened in the last 6 months are, as ever abound. In addition to those mentioned in previous entries, there are more but it would be confirmation of the madness within to put them to paper. So I'm not going to.
Amazing how happy a number plate can make someone. Although he could have sold the car - but it was parked near the regular space ( stop this madness!!!!!!).
02.06.05
News just in:
' Visual confirmation - Positive ID On Fit Bloke'. At 8.20am odd this morning, our intrepid reporter - on a stakeout to confirm yesterday's report of the possible return of the fit bloke, established visual contact with said fit bloke.
World rejoice - he is alive, looking well and back! He got out of the car and made his way to the bus. It was a wonderful sight.
Lack of visual confirmation yesterday did worry the faithful but scenes of joy and celebration were to be seen inside our reporter's head.
Still no explanation re his absence over near on 6 months but such things are put to the side - it's like he was never away. Full bus prohibited the regular sit and stare and to avoid suspicion , our ever amazing reporter did as all detectives do in these situations - she got off the bus at an earlier stop. We will keep regular updates coming with news as soon as it reaches us.
To recap - Mr Berghaus aka The Fit Bloke has returned after a mysterious absence. He was seen this morning. This is not a drill, this is not a rumour or speculation. This is truth. He has returned.
End of broadcast.
The Berghaus Chronicles
14.12.04
Funny thing.....So I went to bed a bit late - 10.30pm or something. I have no money so I thought extra 5 mins in bed, no rush. Slowly pull myself out of bed. Leave home about 7amish.
At Tesco around 8.10am. Thought was getting a sniffle, so having plenty of time, why not get paper and tissues etc now? And could post Xmas cards. So I do.
In the P+R carpark and see bus leaving - no fear, bendy ine right behind. Put kettle in toilet paper in bag and slowly meander to the bus. Bus full so stand near the front, near the driver.
The whole point of the above ramble is that there was no planning, motive, arranging, doing anything on purpose..... no purposeful time wasting.... all was unthought of spontenious and done 1/2 asleep.
So I'm stood there, at the front of the bus thinking of sleep, and who should be the next person on the bus? 'Return please'. I looked round and it was a blur. So the guy stands next to me and puts his bag next to my Tesco bag. I look up. Guess who?!!? It's the Berghaus Fit Man!! Stood next to me!! On the bus!! While i'm doing all I can not to grin or stare!!! It cracks me up.
I wait with baited breath during 'lunch hours' to catch a glimpse.... but nothing. I try on purpose to get a later bus - to to no avail. The mystery of which bus he gets on remains just that - a mystery.
16.12.04
Turns out today, namely this morning, brings more drivel..!
Was up a bit late, out of the house at 7am - got petrol and was on the M1 at 7.45am ish. 15 mins behind 'schedule'. Was just extra knackered i rekon. At Tesco for 8.05am. Saw a double decker at P+R and thought I don't want to go on that one, so to Tesco for a paper and breakfast. Parked up and the double decker was still there. Waited. It went so I got out. Bendy bus arrives and that's ok 'cos I don't mind them.
As I'm queueing, guess which particular car comes down the other side of the road?!
I go to the very back of the bus, my chosen seat. Wait. Stare out of the window. Wait.
"Return please"
Wanders up the bus and sits in front of me.
Music in my head - ' Abra abra abra cadabra, i wanna reach out and grab ya'
Grin. Madness. Freaky.More grinning.
Small white scar, a little right of middle on the back of his head.
Too much!!!! Should I find something else to pre-occupy my mind with in the mornings?
Down point - he reads the Metro paper that was lying on a seat.
I suppose we all have our flaws.
22.12.04
Just saw Mr Berghaus Fit Man - he was carrying a paper - so he doesn't just read the Metro. Thank God for that!!!
05.01.05
....1.07pm and all is ok. Mr Berghaus Man went by. Must have missed him on the way up, but nevermind, got him on the way back. ( I am aware of how pathetic this is ).
He looked gaunt. Skinny and gaunt. Maybe he was ill over xmas. Also had a new coat. New black wollen coat. Nice!
31.01.05
No Mr Berghaus for a least a week. Why? I have the following theroies:
1. He got fired/promoted so is no longer here/working same hours
2. His lovely wife just had their first child so he is o n paternity leave
3. He got a new car and parks in a different place
4. He no longer uses the Park and Ride for any of the above reasons/ he was a temp
5. I freaked him out
6. He's on holiday
7. He was never real in the first place, just a figment if my imagination.
The most worrying thing about it is that I thought about it long enough to come up with a 7 point list. Given more time and if I hadn't stopped myself, I'd have come up with more. Alien abduction anyone??!
04.02.05
...All week,and no sign of Mr Berghaus. Maybe a 2 week holiday in the south of France has kept him from getting the number three bus...Maybe I have too much spare time on my hands.
14.12.04
Funny thing.....So I went to bed a bit late - 10.30pm or something. I have no money so I thought extra 5 mins in bed, no rush. Slowly pull myself out of bed. Leave home about 7amish.
At Tesco around 8.10am. Thought was getting a sniffle, so having plenty of time, why not get paper and tissues etc now? And could post Xmas cards. So I do.
In the P+R carpark and see bus leaving - no fear, bendy ine right behind. Put kettle in toilet paper in bag and slowly meander to the bus. Bus full so stand near the front, near the driver.
The whole point of the above ramble is that there was no planning, motive, arranging, doing anything on purpose..... no purposeful time wasting.... all was unthought of spontenious and done 1/2 asleep.
So I'm stood there, at the front of the bus thinking of sleep, and who should be the next person on the bus? 'Return please'. I looked round and it was a blur. So the guy stands next to me and puts his bag next to my Tesco bag. I look up. Guess who?!!? It's the Berghaus Fit Man!! Stood next to me!! On the bus!! While i'm doing all I can not to grin or stare!!! It cracks me up.
I wait with baited breath during 'lunch hours' to catch a glimpse.... but nothing. I try on purpose to get a later bus - to to no avail. The mystery of which bus he gets on remains just that - a mystery.
16.12.04
Turns out today, namely this morning, brings more drivel..!
Was up a bit late, out of the house at 7am - got petrol and was on the M1 at 7.45am ish. 15 mins behind 'schedule'. Was just extra knackered i rekon. At Tesco for 8.05am. Saw a double decker at P+R and thought I don't want to go on that one, so to Tesco for a paper and breakfast. Parked up and the double decker was still there. Waited. It went so I got out. Bendy bus arrives and that's ok 'cos I don't mind them.
As I'm queueing, guess which particular car comes down the other side of the road?!
I go to the very back of the bus, my chosen seat. Wait. Stare out of the window. Wait.
"Return please"
Wanders up the bus and sits in front of me.
Music in my head - ' Abra abra abra cadabra, i wanna reach out and grab ya'
Grin. Madness. Freaky.More grinning.
Small white scar, a little right of middle on the back of his head.
Too much!!!! Should I find something else to pre-occupy my mind with in the mornings?
Down point - he reads the Metro paper that was lying on a seat.
I suppose we all have our flaws.
22.12.04
Just saw Mr Berghaus Fit Man - he was carrying a paper - so he doesn't just read the Metro. Thank God for that!!!
05.01.05
....1.07pm and all is ok. Mr Berghaus Man went by. Must have missed him on the way up, but nevermind, got him on the way back. ( I am aware of how pathetic this is ).
He looked gaunt. Skinny and gaunt. Maybe he was ill over xmas. Also had a new coat. New black wollen coat. Nice!
31.01.05
No Mr Berghaus for a least a week. Why? I have the following theroies:
1. He got fired/promoted so is no longer here/working same hours
2. His lovely wife just had their first child so he is o n paternity leave
3. He got a new car and parks in a different place
4. He no longer uses the Park and Ride for any of the above reasons/ he was a temp
5. I freaked him out
6. He's on holiday
7. He was never real in the first place, just a figment if my imagination.
The most worrying thing about it is that I thought about it long enough to come up with a 7 point list. Given more time and if I hadn't stopped myself, I'd have come up with more. Alien abduction anyone??!
04.02.05
...All week,and no sign of Mr Berghaus. Maybe a 2 week holiday in the south of France has kept him from getting the number three bus...Maybe I have too much spare time on my hands.
Ok, as per request, here are some excerps from my olde worlde paper journal. I'm not going to explain anything, just give you it as it is ( or was ).
2.12.04
Elation to deflation in 3 easy steps.
1. Become elated
2. ?!?!?!?
3. Deflation ensues.
6.12.04
...The thing that occured to me was that given my awful memory, by the time I have grandkids I won't remember I was going to tell them! So, I think I should jot down what I can remember now, while my grey matter is still in some sort of working order. Note: this will not be a complete list. Young as I am, I have already started losing my mind - including some memory. Here goes:
*Going the wrong way up a one way street in Cardiff before a Bryan Adams concert in March 2002. Executing a three point turn and then nearly getting bashed by a car on a right turn back to the hotel. Georgia ( names have been changed ) was on the phone - the person she was talking to thought she was pissed. She wasn't!
*Dropping my accent like a lead balloon - Betty's Tearooms, York 2002/03, or so says Georgia. I deny everything, although 'we travel the country' may have been an exaggeration.
*Various auditions in hotels in Leeds for numerous positions in the lesuire, entertainment and retail industries. Juggling? Singing in front of a panel of 3?? YES!!! It's all true, although most of what we said we could do was of course bullshit.
*Accosting a policeman in NYC who then had to tell a patrol car that ' I'm ok, there's no problem here'!!
*All nighter (almost) in a Manchester pub in NYC singing all the way.
*Shouting "Rash? what rash? Oh, that rash. Well, thanks for the cream you kent me. It worked a treat!!" In Waterstones and numerous other establishments in Leeds. To our credit, we weren't thrown out of any of them.
*Santa hat, pointy, tinsel, Harvey Nics, Leeds. When I was meandering through college days.
* Covering the 5th Form toilets in silly string. Last day of school. Plus various food/rubber/books etc fights.
* Polishing various skills of the detective kind through school and uni. NOT stalking. Honest.
* Getting lost on the way back from Wales - took the scenic route on purpose of course.
* Wrong turn from Bristol on the way back to Swindon. Ended up near the bridge in Wales!!Oops!
* London Maida Vale 4 star Hotel, having a meal then walking out without paying. A hand on Gerogia's shoulder as we were about to go through the doors. August 2003.
* Saw Busted at WHS
* Meet Richard Branson, he signed my book
* Being on BBC Radio Wiltshire
*Cardiff cinema. Nachos. Fight. Mess
* Shipwrecked/Big Bro audtion tape of Georgia. Directed and filmed by me!!
* "Where's the Empire State Building?" "That would be the one you just walked past!"
There's lots more. Will add them as I remember them. I miss the good times, I miss the great memories. Exactly how did it all go pear shaped?......
13.12.04
Here is a list of what I want to be when I grow up:
( in no particular order )
*Pilot
*Radio presenter - late night books and films reviewer
*Oranges and lemons orchid owner/grower
*Restaurant owner
*Interior designer
*Architect
*Teacher - then headmaster
*Writer
*Property Developer
*Lecturer
*Chocolate shop/factory owner - a la Willy Wonker
*Ice cream maker
I think that's it. About 7/8 of them are serious ones.
OK, that's the more normal stuff. What comes next, I blame someone else for!!
2.12.04
Elation to deflation in 3 easy steps.
1. Become elated
2. ?!?!?!?
3. Deflation ensues.
6.12.04
...The thing that occured to me was that given my awful memory, by the time I have grandkids I won't remember I was going to tell them! So, I think I should jot down what I can remember now, while my grey matter is still in some sort of working order. Note: this will not be a complete list. Young as I am, I have already started losing my mind - including some memory. Here goes:
*Going the wrong way up a one way street in Cardiff before a Bryan Adams concert in March 2002. Executing a three point turn and then nearly getting bashed by a car on a right turn back to the hotel. Georgia ( names have been changed ) was on the phone - the person she was talking to thought she was pissed. She wasn't!
*Dropping my accent like a lead balloon - Betty's Tearooms, York 2002/03, or so says Georgia. I deny everything, although 'we travel the country' may have been an exaggeration.
*Various auditions in hotels in Leeds for numerous positions in the lesuire, entertainment and retail industries. Juggling? Singing in front of a panel of 3?? YES!!! It's all true, although most of what we said we could do was of course bullshit.
*Accosting a policeman in NYC who then had to tell a patrol car that ' I'm ok, there's no problem here'!!
*All nighter (almost) in a Manchester pub in NYC singing all the way.
*Shouting "Rash? what rash? Oh, that rash. Well, thanks for the cream you kent me. It worked a treat!!" In Waterstones and numerous other establishments in Leeds. To our credit, we weren't thrown out of any of them.
*Santa hat, pointy, tinsel, Harvey Nics, Leeds. When I was meandering through college days.
* Covering the 5th Form toilets in silly string. Last day of school. Plus various food/rubber/books etc fights.
* Polishing various skills of the detective kind through school and uni. NOT stalking. Honest.
* Getting lost on the way back from Wales - took the scenic route on purpose of course.
* Wrong turn from Bristol on the way back to Swindon. Ended up near the bridge in Wales!!Oops!
* London Maida Vale 4 star Hotel, having a meal then walking out without paying. A hand on Gerogia's shoulder as we were about to go through the doors. August 2003.
* Saw Busted at WHS
* Meet Richard Branson, he signed my book
* Being on BBC Radio Wiltshire
*Cardiff cinema. Nachos. Fight. Mess
* Shipwrecked/Big Bro audtion tape of Georgia. Directed and filmed by me!!
* "Where's the Empire State Building?" "That would be the one you just walked past!"
There's lots more. Will add them as I remember them. I miss the good times, I miss the great memories. Exactly how did it all go pear shaped?......
13.12.04
Here is a list of what I want to be when I grow up:
( in no particular order )
*Pilot
*Radio presenter - late night books and films reviewer
*Oranges and lemons orchid owner/grower
*Restaurant owner
*Interior designer
*Architect
*Teacher - then headmaster
*Writer
*Property Developer
*Lecturer
*Chocolate shop/factory owner - a la Willy Wonker
*Ice cream maker
I think that's it. About 7/8 of them are serious ones.
OK, that's the more normal stuff. What comes next, I blame someone else for!!
Monday 9 August 2010
Saturday 7 August 2010
So I have just got up more or less and do you know what i have to do today? Big fat nothing.
I didn't sleep well last night, woke up with a crick neck. Watched two episodes of The West Wing ( or Best Damn Programme Ever Made ), took a shower, watched another episode then went and had breakfast. Now I'm back watching the Wing. I'm a Wing nut. I'm Winging it. I'm an addict. That's my day. I have nothing planned, have nowhere to go and no one to meet. It's brilliant!
But, I have to say, in a very quiet voice, I may be a little bored already. Shhhh.
I may bake later, I may go out to see my cutie pie cousin. More than likely I'll just Wing it!
I didn't sleep well last night, woke up with a crick neck. Watched two episodes of The West Wing ( or Best Damn Programme Ever Made ), took a shower, watched another episode then went and had breakfast. Now I'm back watching the Wing. I'm a Wing nut. I'm Winging it. I'm an addict. That's my day. I have nothing planned, have nowhere to go and no one to meet. It's brilliant!
But, I have to say, in a very quiet voice, I may be a little bored already. Shhhh.
I may bake later, I may go out to see my cutie pie cousin. More than likely I'll just Wing it!
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